3 a.m. wake up.

Well, I managed to stay awake until about 6.30 last night. Sugar seemed to work this time, sugar and the 1st season of the Denis Leary show "Rescue me" on dvd. Great show, funny & serious as hell at times. I think dealing with lifes' tougher questions requires a fair amount of humor. Intelligent humor that is. Then I slept well for about nine hours, woke up at 3.15 this morning. Thought about going back to sleep but thinking about it I realised that I'm gonna need an early wake up to be able to fall asleep at a decent hour tonight so I got up and had breakfast and watched the final 2 episodes. Then I went to the gym for a workout which is always interesting that time in the morning. It works but it feels like more work than it does at say 2 p.m. Almost 9.30 now and I am already starting to feel my early wake-up. Gonna be a long day but after working out the pressure of doing something useful with my day is somewhat mitigated.
I wonder if that is what people mean when they are talking about having a life? I've never really felt like I had one. Don't know what it means even. Does anyone actually fill every minute of their day with stuff that carries meaning in any way? I doubt it but if there are people who do they should hold seminars on the subject. The seminar should start with a clear-cut definition of the word meaning, if there is a universal one which I doubt.

Can't go on now. I'd just tie myself up in something that I wouldn't be able to get out of... All questions no answers as always...

There we went again...

I've now gone about 17 hrs without sleeping. Planning on staying awake for another
9-10. I'll do this by inhaling sugar/fat and some kind of energy drink that has been labelled as unhealthy for youth. I'm not considered youth by any standard, except mentally and by myself. I don't feel old. Old people don't sleep much but they tend to at least have a rythm to it, such as going to sleep on a regular schedule and waking up ridiculously early. I do neither though I kinda wish I did. I'm not wishing I'd be older, just that I had some kind of sleeping arrangement that I'd be able to think and be somewhat normal. There I go again with the normal. Not knowing what it means makes it a blurry wish at best.
Another thing about sleeping/not sleeping the way I do is that it makes my decision making hazy. I buy crap I don't need, for instance tobacco through a site that I suspect got my bank card hijacked, or an antitrojan program because of being annoyed with the sounds my comp makes when I start it. Sounds like it's chewing away at something even though I'm not doing anything. Probably just me being computer illiterate but still it proves my point; Sleeping is actually quite good for decision making. Well, I'm off for the sugar.